I love reading. Books are such an integral part of my life. These days, my books come in all formats—paper, Kindle, Audible.
I think it all started because of the example I had as I was growing up. To this day, my dad reads a lot, and my mom reads newspapers more than books.
Part of it might have also been the fact that I was a shy and introverted kid. Who knows.
What I know is that I owe a lot to the books I’ve read. I am who I am because of reading books. And one of them stands tall among the rest as the book that changed my life – “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.”
Before I Read the Book
Did I mention I was a shy and introverted girl?
I was also emotional. Oh, boy! Especially during puberty.
There were so many times I spent in my room, on my own, crying.
I vividly remember one of these times. It was after dinner. My dad went to the living room, and my brother went to his room. I stayed in the kitchen to help with cleaning and washing the dishes.
I had washed all the dishes and cleaned the table when my mom came. And she yelled at me…
…for not wiping the water around the sink. You see if you don’t wipe the water, moisture stays, and mold develops.
It makes sense. Wiping the water after washing the dishes (we didn’t have a dishwasher and my mom still doesn’t have a dishwasher). But there is a way to explain this without yelling. Especially to a logical person such as me.
Well, my mom didn’t explain it to me calmly and reasonably. She was frustrated and let it all out at me, the only person who stayed to help. So, naturally, I went to my room and cried.
The Lightbulb Moment
I also vividly remember reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and the lightbulb moment I had.
While the story about the father and the kids in the subway stuck with me as well as an example to never judge people, the moment I’m talking about is all about the first habit in the book.
It turns out that as human beings have a superpower no other creatures on our planet have. We can actually choose how to respond to a stimulus. As Stephen Covey puts it, there is a space between stimulus and reaction. And, in this space, we can choose how to respond.
Lightbulb!
My mom yelling at me because I didn’t wipe the water after washing the dishes? No problem. I choose how to respond. I can go in my room and cry (which I now know is a Level 1 reaction), or realize that mom had been stressed by work and everything she had on her shoulders. That the yelling had nothing to do with me helping and that what she said really made sense. And I can respond by acknowledging that I would wipe the water in the future and continue with my evening (now I know this is a Level 3 reaction).
Taking 100% Responsibility
I’m the first to admit it. I don’t remember all the other habits from the book. I do remember the second one to begin with the end and the last one to sharpen the axe, but that’s it.
Yet, even just the parts I do remember had such a profound effect on my life.
I realized that I was 100% responsible for my own choices and actions. I have the ability to respond in any way I want.
After reading the book, I started doing this. I started responding instead of reacting.
I knew that what other people did and how they acted had more to do with who they were and how they felt than with me.
I stopped crying for the smallest of things. And my life turned for the better.
Because I took 100% responsibility for my life.
I was not an angry person to begin with, but this book showed me how to move away from a victim mentality and thinking.
Mandatory Read
I personally think that “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” should be a mandatory read for everyone everywhere.
No one makes you sad or angry.
No one owes you anything.
You are 100% responsible for your own thoughts, emotions, actions, and inactions. And this is liberating.
This is freeing.
This is what America was built on: people with initiative who don’t play the victim and blame game but take 100% responsibility for their success.
If there is one book you read, I highly recommend this one.
And not just read it. Really absorb the information. Apply it.
You can thank me later.
The Book That Changed Your Life
Now that you know about the book that changed my life, it’s your turn. Which book changed your life?
Share in the comments below.
