“If you must hire family or friends, set crystal-clear boundaries from day one.”
– Anna Angelova
When you’re starting out, it can feel natural to turn to family or friends for help. They’re close, they care about you, and sometimes they’re willing to work for little, or even no, pay. But is hiring people you’re personally close to really a smart move?
In this episode, we dig into the risks, challenges, and very rare exceptions that come with hiring family and friends. From blurred boundaries to long-term resentment, we share why this decision often does more harm than good and how to think it through before you make a move.
We cover:
- Why hiring family or friends often blurs lines between personal and professional
- The risks of resentment when relatives or friends see your profits up close
- Why cultural fit and qualifications matter more than relationships
- The difference between asking for short-term support vs. formal employment
- Why temps or contractors are often a safer short-term solution
- The rare scenarios where it might work, if you set crystal-clear boundaries
If you’ve ever been tempted to hire someone close to you, this conversation will help you avoid painful lessons and make better decisions for your business.
Want guidance on building your team the right way? Join our free Visionary Founders Club, a community where small and mid-sized business owners connect, share experiences, and grow stronger together.
“The closer the relationship, the higher the risk of resentment.” – Anna Angelova
Transcript for “Should You Hire Family or Friends in Your Business?”
The transcript below was automatically generated. Please ignore any errors or inconsistencies in the text.
Anna Angelova 0:05
Happy Friday. This is more than just Task Management, your favorite daily podcast where we help you build a thriving business with me, An Angelo, a business coach and consultant, and Joris Minasfand, my fellow co-host and business consultant.
Happy Friday.
Jores Minasvand 0:24
Hey, Anna, happy Friday. Thanks for having me. Another beautiful Friday. Well, I’m in Europe, so it’s summer. So hopefully you guys are having a nice weather there as well, so.
Anna Angelova 0:39
Yes, yeah, it’s improved.
Jores Minasvand 0:40
What’s the beautiful topic here for today?
Anna Angelova 0:42
So the topic for today is whether you should hire family or friends in your business, especially in the early stages. And yeah, you’re like, no, yeah, but especially in the early stages, because in the early stages you don’t have a lot of resources to pay people, so.
Jores Minasvand 0:50
No.
No.
Anna Angelova 1:01
Should you hire them? And I hear you say no, Joris, so go ahead.
Jores Minasvand 1:08
Recipe for disaster. So a a few weeks ago we did a a podcast and and this is.
Use your family, you you know for marketing and and bringing people to your business and and building up, yes.
But the flip side of that, do not hire a family member for your business because that is a recipe for disaster.
So I mean, I I don’t know whether it’s a percent 10,000% guarantee that it’s going to be head butting. Either the person is going to over perform and ask for more money or they’re going to under perform and say screw you, I’m your sister or your.
Knees, I don’t need to do anything with this pain.
Do not hire very, very. It’s a very distinct was. I want to make sure that I convey the right message.
Anna Angelova 2:12
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of agree.
Jores Minasvand 2:23
A very distinct difference between utilizing your family and net social network and friends to help build your business versus hiring a family member or a friend as a paid employee.
First one, second one, no, no.
Anna Angelova 2:44
So, yeah, yeah. And I kind of agree with you what you’re saying because ultimately one of the things is that even if the person is qualified, right, even if this is the the person is qualified, and this is where I would actually urge you to start thinking.
Jores Minasvand 2:44
That’s my opinion.
Anna Angelova 3:03
Is OK, you’re thinking about someone from your family or a friend who who you might want to hire. So the question, the first question you should think about, is this person qualified for the position you you you need this person to hold? Like are they really qualified? And then also of course we’ve talked about this.
How important the attitude is? Do they fit with the culture that you want to build? So skills, knowledge, the attitude, do they have all these components? So and if you if you were to go and and post this open for others, would this be the person?
You you hire, right? Do you think this is really the best candidate demand colors as well? So start thinking there. This is one thing I would encourage you and where why I agree with what you were saying, Joris, with your firm know.
Is it’s really hard to keep the the boundaries. So boundaries can be really hard when when you hire family and friends. It could be in your business. You are the manager, you are the leader, you are the boss.
And at the same time, this is someone you’re related to that, oh, it’s the cousin or or your daughter or your father and then it’s actually or or a childhood friend. So how do you keep those boundaries that, oh, we can go and have beer after work and we can be friends and talk.
About whatever we talk about and then while while we’re working together though, I’m the manager and I I lead the company and and I pay your salary and I kind of have those difficult conversations with you when you are not performing.
So I think that it’s a very intricate position and leadership and management in general are not easy. Like managing people and leading people, this is not easy and I would say you don’t want to complicate it with.
Throwing friendships and family into the mix. You know what it’s like. You know what it’s like when you gather with family. Think about it. So I would also caution against it.
Jores Minasvand 5:30
I love what you said. You articulated it so well and you summarize it in one word and I 10,000 agree attitude.
What I would add to it was does the.
The attitude even the the most skilled family member.
Hire that can run your business without you.
One or his own will develop the attitude and this is the reason the and the attitude part is the resentment. So you hire a family member and you pay them $2000 a month.
And then this person is the only you and this person are the two people that run the company. So this person has full access, has to have full access to all of your your revenue, your e-bit, your bank accounts, your finances, your customer, everything.
So after 36121418 months, this person sits there and says regardless of the relation, brother, uncle, cousin, whatever, this person is paying me 2000 a month.
But he or she is pocketing 100,000 a month.
Right that moment, the resentment hits, so you can take the most skilled family member.
Anna Angelova 6:57
Yeah, yeah.
Jores Minasvand 7:04
And that person’s attitude will turn into crap and they will drive your business down to the to the ground. Now when the person is not your family member and you hire them, there’s a certain expectation and.
Access to the your your financial information and there’s a certain market value that you hire a reception or an office administrator or office manager. The fair market value of an office manager salary is 65,000 to 70,000 a year.
This person will never develop the attitude that say, well, why is this guy making $1,000,000 a month and not only paying me 65,000?
So that is the problem with employing even the most skilled family member is the attitude and not the attitude in the beginning. It’s what they the resentment they will develop over time.
Anna Angelova 8:02
Yeah, and The thing is that, like you said, even if the beginning they’re a great feat, right for the culture, for the, for the position, if even if they can contribute a lot, are you willing to put your friendship or or family relationship on the line?
In case things happen, right. In case something like this, like they they start being resentful from from what’s going on. Like are you are you actually OK with this? And that’s why like it’s a jurist. Both of us, we know this like.
When it comes to even building a partnership with friends and family, it can be so hard building a partnership where you’re at the same level, right? You as as like you, you are actually both owners of the business, right? You’re at the same level. It’s hard. So it’s really and there’s.
Jores Minasvand 8:47
Yep.
Anna Angelova 8:58
So many cautionary tales for people who have tried and who have hired family or friends. And a lot of times, again, I would say that probably 99% of the time the person who gets hired is just hired because their family or their friend, not because they are capable, not because they.
Feed the culture and all these kind of things. And as I said, leading people, managing people, it’s hard enough. I would say don’t complicate it by hiring friends, by hiring family. Yes, and I I love the distinguishing thing we mentioned.
Jores Minasvand 9:20
And.
Mm-hmm.
Anna Angelova 9:37
In the beginning that it’s it’s OK to ask your family for support and friends for support to refer others like introduce you to potential clients. That’s OK, but hiring them it’s it’s again really, really careful. Think about it.
And to weigh the pros and the cons. And in most ways, the cons are actually way, way more than the pros.
Jores Minasvand 10:06
Fantastic gateway, Anna, to the second problem.
Of hiring family and that is risk. So you go out to the market, whether it’s for an agency or job ads, you hire someone, you sign a contract, employment contract and in that contract there are roles and responsibilities. There are certain level of.
Expectation that this person will protect your business on your behalf. Now you hire your buddy Sunday, you go to a football field and take two 24 pack beers and you, you know, drink 8 beers and you get covered in mud, beat the crap out of each other over.
Small football and then you come home and have dinner and then you go to bed. Now, do you really think this person will feel responsible, not screwing up your brand or your customer? No, because they’re going to say, well, it’s OK, it’s OK, I screwed up.
I’ll take Joris for afterwards. We’ll go Sunday, have beers together and yeah, you know that the lack of respect and lack of responsibility that comes with hiring a family member, it’s exponentially dangerous for your business.
Anna Angelova 11:24
Yeah, this is the other point. You’re right the the way that they see you. So they see you as a friend, as an equal or or as oh, I grew up with this person and can they really see you as the authority and the leader in in within the business? Very good point.
Jores Minasvand 11:25
And.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Exactly. Take orders. Yeah, take orders.
Anna Angelova 11:46
Very good point. So Joris is a firm. No, Joris is a firm. No, I am.
Jores Minasvand 11:48
Because you’re a buddy.
You never work with your.
Anna Angelova 11:54
Yeah, I am leaning towards no. So this is where I’m leaning towards. Again, the choice is ultimately yours. From our personal experience and also as experts, our recommendation is do not. This is a not even proceed with caution. It it is.
Jores Minasvand 12:01
Mm-hmm.
Anna Angelova 12:14
Do not proceed. Don’t cross this line.
Jores Minasvand 12:20
Just the only way I’m going to go from a firm no to a maybe is a short term relief. There’s something happens whether the person gets.
Oh.
Or they leave for a better job.
Administrator shown that the invoicing and stuff for two weeks, yes, but no long term commitment, no hiring and absolutely no.
Anna Angelova 12:55
Yeah, and again, even if it’s for short term, it should all start with, even if it’s something that they help you for a couple of weeks or four weeks or something like this. Again, they you need to start. Are they?
Jores Minasvand 13:07
Mhm.
Anna Angelova 13:10
Actually skewed at this. Are they capable to do this? Are they like do they have the correct attitude? Would they fit your culture? Because if they don’t have the skills, like what’s the point of you hiring? Like even getting them to to do something for a couple of weeks if if they don’t have no idea how.
Jores Minasvand 13:15
Yeah.
The right attitude, Yeah. Mm-hmm.
Anna Angelova 13:30
How to do it? They’ve never done it. If if they don’t have the right attitude, if if they are complaining or the things like you don’t want, you don’t want to add this to your culture even if it’s just for two weeks.
Jores Minasvand 13:32
Absolutely.
Mhm.
Yep, you’re better off hiring a temp from temp companies than a family member. I will do that anytime, anytime. There are Kelly’s temporaries. I’ve used Kelly’s temporaries since the 90s, one of the North American largest temporary.
Anna Angelova 13:43
Because.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so.
Jores Minasvand 14:02
Placement companies and think about this.
It.
There is a need for a temporary company like Kelly’s is one of like maybe five big ones in North America. If there’s a need for this, that means there’s something that family members cannot, you know, resolve.
Or solve and you need to go to external to get somebody temporary even for two days. I’ve I’ve seen people hire like half an hour, half a day, hire a temp for half a day, cover my phones.
Anna Angelova 14:40
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Jores Minasvand 14:41
I will do that before I hire call my brother or my niece or my my own children. I will never do that.
Anna Angelova 14:50
Yeah, so again, even if one is for a couple of like a temporary, it needs to start with are they qualified? Do they have the right attitude? If the answer is yes to both, then yes. Like I said, Joris, it can be more OK and again still proceed with caution, lay things out from the beginning that.
Jores Minasvand 15:01
Mhm.
Mhm.
Anna Angelova 15:10
This is what it is. These are the expectations. This is what it is. These are the rules. These are the boundaries and this is it. Take two weeks and that’s it. Really appreciate you helping. That’s fantastic. Can can write you a a recommendation letter after that, whatever it is, but.
Jores Minasvand 15:12
Yep.
Yep.
Anna Angelova 15:29
This is it.
Jores Minasvand 15:31
Yep, I totally agree. I don’t think we need to talk anymore about this. We took the message and it’s very clear, very firm, capital N, capital O 3 exclamation marks.
Anna Angelova 15:44
Which is like, no, OK, Oh, thanks Joris.
Jores Minasvand 15:46
Very military.
Thank you, Anna. Great, great, very useful session. I love it. Thanks for having me in these sessions.
Anna Angelova 15:57
Oh yeah. And these are, these are some of the questions we get from people we work with and from from other business owners as well. And that’s why that’s why we are discussing this. And like we mentioned yesterday and throughout this week, the Visionary Founders Club is where we dive even deeper into this kind of conversation. So if it’s.
Something that you enjoy and you’d like to get even more help and more expert advice from us. The link is in the description. Join the Visionary Founders Club. This is the space for business owners, small, mid-sized business owners who are.
Building meaningful businesses and who are showing up every single day, just like you are showing every single day, doing the work, contributing to your community, contributing to your family and.
Doing something exceptional, being a business owner in the 21st century.
So we’d love to see you there.
Jores Minasvand 17:00
Love it. Love it. Yeah. Come join us and you can use our experience. We’re at your fingertips. What helps you? And yeah, thank you, Anna.
Anna Angelova 17:13
Thanks, Joris. And tomorrow we are reviewing the past five days. So if you missed any of the episodes this week, join us tomorrow for a summary of what we talked about. This way you can see if there is anything interesting that you want to go back, listen to it so.
Remember, this is a daily podcast. More than just task management. Thank you for being a listener and we’ll be back tomorrow. Bye.
Jores Minasvand 17:41
Thank you. Bye.
